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Thank you, Sir ………………. Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Is there anybody getting identical RSS problems? Anybody who knows the solution can you kindly respond? Change School Grades? Hack Banks? Erase Criminal Records? Hack Websites? Hack Database? Hack Drivers license? Hack Call Log? Hack Visichat and Flash-chat Rooms?
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My mom and dad had one of the best relationships I had ever known, but in the five years after his open-heart surgery, that changed. She became bitter and angry because he stopped fighting. She married a fighter, but there was no fight in him left anymore. Her anger grew worse and worse as his anger began to disappear. But they loved each other so much.
It was just a helpless mess, and we didn't see any hope for a good ending. But they had been the greatest of companions for almost 70 years, and they didn't give up. My mom would wake my dad up at three in the morning, and then she would say,. The next day, they would wake up and fight again. It never stopped. Somehow when my dad decided it was time to go and when my mom heard those words of insight from Jessie, my son, my mom stopped fighting him, and their relationship went back to its earlier state, which we never, ever, ever thought would happen.
My mom kind of cared for him as if he was her child and her lover all at once. My dad once said that after concentration camp, he felt like he was in a cage. He felt like the hate that kept him alive was the poison that was going to kill him. He said he felt like he had to reach into himself over and over again, piece by piece, to pull the hate out that was inside him. He told us that it came out little by little, piece by piece.
I lived through that struggle, and I was able to witness his success. The day before my dad passed away, we had another kind of healing that happened, which was that, Jessie, my son who loved him dearly… He used to say, "My heart is your heart," to my dad. They really understood each other. They have pride, they had anger, they had silence, they had depth. They had both been through a lot, and they really understood each other.
But my son was silent when it came to sharing with his grandfather that he was gender-fluid, or at that time, transgender. It was just too hard for him to speak, and it was too hard for my dad to speak, and they spent I guess the last nine months barely speaking. The love was clear, the love was there, but they were just kind of silent.
They couldn't get through that wall. I called my mom the night before my dad passed, and I said, "We got to intervene. She said, "You got to tell Grandpa. He's going to love you no matter what. Can I write it? He just grabbed him, and he almost cried out, "I don't care what gender you are. I love you. You're my grandson. My son knew down to his bones, and will know for the rest of his life, that his grandfather embraced him. My dad passed away the next day, but I will tell you another thing, and that is one of his great wishes was to see me and my partner Greg marry.
He loved Greg, who is a very kind and silent and loving guy, and silent like in a lot of the ways that my dad is silent. My dad used to say that we fit together like an ass and a pail, and Greg and I would joke about who was the ass and who was the pail. But we told him that he was not going to miss our marriage, and we made the first appointment we could at the closest marriage place that would take us about a month later.
But my dad didn't make it. He didn't last. The day that he was going to die, the hospice nurse said, "Guys, this was like his last wish. You got to get married in front of him. Jessie went with my sister, and they got declarations. Then Jessie and Greg went and got rings for a dollar. They came back, and Greg and I got married in front of my dad. When we finished saying our vows, he had passed. People often came up to me after that and acknowledged my grief. It was a really weird thing because what I experienced was not as much grief as a kind of child's joy because I had finally found a beloved friend in my dad.
It took 60 years, and now I feel him as like my greatest ally. When I do therapy, he is goodness to me. When I do therapy, I think, "What would my dad say? He would say the hard truths, but he started with people's gifts. That's the essence of what I try to do in my work as a coach and a teacher and a therapist. Never, ever did I think that would happen between me and my dad. We never thought that my dad's anger and bitterness would ever completely go away, and we could not imagine that his grief and his guilt at the loss of his mother and his not doing anything on that day would ever go away.
I never thought that I could feel fully joyfully comfortable with him, and I never thought that sad quietness between him and my son would ever go away. I never thought that my mom and my dad could work through their bitterness and their anger and find healing. But every one of those things happened. Most of them didn't happen in years; they happened over decades. When my dad left, he knew his work was done, and these stories give me such hope.
Not just because of their success, but because of how slowly it happened, how painful the process was, and how full the healing. That healing did not happen because of one course or one workshop or one conversation. It happened from decades of work. At 60 years old, married for the first time, I felt a great hope and now at 62, I feel an even greater hope. That hope is for me and for my family and for my students and for the world. Healing took so much longer than I ever thought it would, but it was more complete and more full and more beautiful and magnificent than I ever thought possible.
So, this is a story of hope and for each of you on your journey, that's what I want to impart is hope. Even if the person you loved has passed away without this healing, that healing I personally believe can still happen as you heal. So no matter what your age, no matter what your challenges, I just want to share the story of slow healing and the hope for healing for each one of us. Thank you all for listening to the story, and I'll see you in the next Deeper Dating podcast.clublavoute.ca/pataf-paginas-para-conocer.php
Lost Love: Guess Who's Back? | Psychology Today
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